So I was making boureks a couple of hours ago, and my washing machine beeped to inform me the load was done.
I took out the fleecy throw and flung it over the door to dry, but upon reaching in for my white H&M dress, I saw that something was not quite right..."AAAAAARRGGHHH!!!!"
I present to you...exhibit A: The scene of the murder
Exhibit B: The victim
Exhibit C: The murderer
My theory is that a certain dipstick had forgotten to remove the sample sized Urban Decay lipgloss in Timothy (the murderer) , from the pocket of the victim before placing it into the washing machine.
I suspect that the murderer couldn't take the pain of being only a little sample size, constantly being picked on for not being big enough was too much for it to handle. I believe Mr Urban Decay (sample size) saw his opportunity to strike the victim whilst they were locked into the washing machine. Clearly Miss dress had nowhere to run, it couldn't have been any easier.
This was a suicide/homicide rolled into one. Mr Urban Decay waited until the water current was just right before letting his lid unscrew, thus killing himself and murdering the dress with his staining venom!
Case Closed. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview with Mrs Bleach and Ms Vanish.